I hope this is a short story which will never end. It was one Tuesday morning at Helsinki Café, when Jim felt something new. Sometimes it is better not to try to explain one's feelings afterwards, but I hope this is not one of those times.
Well, back to the story. Jim did not know what it was; was it the warmth of the moment, a ray of bright light of morning sunshine or just an illusion in his head. Half a year ago it would have been an angel in paradise. One and a half years ago just a devil in disguise.
All the same there she was, Mary, sitting in the same room with him. To tell you the truth Jim still, at this very moment, does not know what his feelings for her were. Maybe that could be called one in a billion chance moment. Sorry, I apologize, that would not make her justice. But I am trying to tell you, what truly happened.
Anyway it was just one of those moments, when you are kind of afraid you will break the illusion, which will probably not come true anyway. Will illusions come true sometimes? Hopes do, don´t they - sometimes. Hey, hey... but this is no illusion: there she was alright. This is what I am trying to explain myself. I mean he was. And still is. Jim, I mean...
Excuse me, I needed a cigarette break. Oh well, it is six am. Another cup of coffee. See you next time.
Tonight at ten past twelve I went to the balcony for a cigarette. Out there I heard a nightingale sing. Another answered. It was beautiful. And I thought of you. Now I am writing this with shaking hands...
2 pm
I am listening to Radio Helsinki. A man is singing: "Don't walk away in silence." She will be here, at my place in about two hours, I hope. We've been seeing each other almost every day for some time now.
I've met her mother and she's met my father. Still I don't think we exactly know where we are going right now. Anyway I am more than happy, that I have a good friend now. Who knows what the future will be like?
2 am
Nice day, yesterday. We watched a movie called "Lost in translation". Had some pastries with lots of coffee.
While lying on the bed, I wanted to hold her hand, hug her real tight and kiss her. But I didn´t make a pass yet.
Well, next Saturday will be my 36th birthday and she will be the only guest. Who knows what will happen?
Yesterday I asked her permission to use these texts for my blog. I don't have any idea, how readers would feel about it. Thanks to her we might find it out.
I really do hope these stories will never end...
It is 3 am and I would like to be in touch with her. Maybe I'll just make some coffee and stay up the rest of the night.
Tomorrow will be another Helsinki Café day for me. I think I'll take these texts with me. Let's see what happens. Today, I mean.
Birthday
Now I am ready to tell you about my 36th birthday. At Windows Live Space I had a virtual birthday for some of my closest. My godson Walter and my best friend Aura were invited.
Half a year earlier I had made a plan that before the end of the year I want to have a good relationship. In summer I had met Mary, but I wasn't sure if she would take me.
By the end of November I had been in touch with her that much that I could invite her as the only guest at my place on my birthday. Earlier I had bought some roses. First yellow one, the white and finally a red one.
We were good friends, but we didn't know if it would be something more. On my birthday I prepared a meal for Mary. We had some spaghetti with creamy sauce of chicken. For dessert I baked lots of peach-vanilla-pastries, which were served with coffee.
While we were standing in my living room after the dessert, she said: "I need some tenderness." I asked if she would come to my sofa to sit with me. There we were sitting and holding each other's hands, when I asked if she will be my partner. She said yes and made me the happiest man of the world.
And then we kissed...
With love,
Jim
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