2008-12-22

Mary and me, Part 9

Foreign style

She is artistic in many ways. I think Mary has some French style. She has been living and studying in Paris earlier. I may have some German style. A need to have things in order maybe. I used to live in Germany and in Switzerland. She plays the flute, I play chess.

I admire Garri Kasparov, former chess world champion. He is involved in Russian politics. He has been arrested several times lately. Putinmania I would call the political order in Russian
right now. I do hope things will be ok internationally, internally and especially in my relationship to Mary.

Just today we were talking with Mary about our possible wedding. A modest wedding we both would hope. Her 40th birthday will be next year. Maybe that will be the time to do something about it, who knows? We both want to have some children some time, but one could be adopted as well. In God we trust. Sounds funny, because of the US politics. In money they seem to trust.

I think I could be happy with her anywhere in Europe. This year will be time in Helsinki. Next year, we shall see about it... We both have been moving quite many times in our lives, but I think we both feel like Helsinki is our hometown right now. Although we have some foreign styles, we definitely are Finnish.

Maybe I write this in English to get some distance to things which are so intimate. It would be more difficult to write in my own language.

2008-12-15

Mary and me, Part 8

No place like home

Went to get some more cigarettes. I am at her place. She is asleep. We have been together seven days now.

It is ten thirty pm. I am drinking coffee and listening to music. And writing.

It is raining out there. Today while she was watching TV I went for a walk. Nice shops, where she lives. I do not know if I was window shopping or not. Maybe not. Did not buy any kind of a window.

Commercials. Stupid commercials. Luckily it was a short break. Roy Orbison is not singing for the lonely. Some lousy boy band is singing about love. A better one now: 'Penny on a track.' But not good enough. I put some classical on. Now it is better music.

Looking at a photo, which was taken on my birthday. Mary and me. Both smiling at my place. I do not feel any place is my home right now. Maybe in the future Mary and I will have a home together. That will take some time.

The other day she said she wants to become a mother. Her goddaughter, Anna, is in 9th grade. My godson is 14 years of age. Maybe they would make a good couple too. Just a thought. Eleven-o-seven.

2008-12-08

Mary and me, Part 7

Independence

It was independence day yesterday. My independence is gone. I'm in love. I want to be by her side.

Yesterday Finland celebrated her 90th independence day. Some say Finland's independence is gone too. When there was a historical election for joining the European Union, I was working abroad. Sometimes it is better to give something to achieve more.

It is almost Christmas time. I am Mary's present and she is mine. I think we both want to give to each other to achieve more. I don't know about her independence, but I gave some of mine away when we became a couple. And I am happy for it.

I´ve made my choice and I feel good about it. A lot needs to be done in this relationship to make it last, but that's the way it is. Some things also need not to be done. I think I´m better in not doing rather than in doing.

Sometimes when you do, it's too much. Other times when you do less, it's not enough. I hope this relationship is a way to do things right. Neither too much, nor too little, but enough. I might be better in giving rather than in taking. I hope that is the way I am. Mary might have another point of view.

2008-12-01

Mary and me, Part 6

Birthday

Now I am ready to tell you about my 36th birthday. At Windows Live Space I had a virtual birthday for some of my closest. My godson Walter and my best friend Aura were invited.

Half a year earlier I had made a plan that before the end of the year I would have a good relationship. In summer I had met Mary, but I wasn´t sure if she would take me.

By the end of November I had been in touch with her so much that I could invite her as the only guest at my place on my birthday. Earlier I had bought some roses. First yellow one, then white and finally a red one.

We were good friends, but we didn't know if it would be something more. On my birthday I prepared a meal for Mary. We had some spaghetti with creamy sauce of chicken. For dessert I baked lots of peach-vanilla-pastries, which were served with coffee.

While we were standing in my living room after the dessert, she said: 'I need some tenderness.' I asked if she would come to my sofa to sit with me. There we were sitting and holding each other´s hands, when I asked if she will be my partner. She said yes and made me the happiest man in the world.

And then we kissed...

With love,

Jim