Mary and me, Part 9

Foreign style

She is artistic in many ways. I think Mary has some French style. She has been living and studying in Paris earlier. I may have some German style. A need to have things in order maybe. I used to live in Germany and in Switzerland. She plays the flute, I play chess.

I admire Garri Kasparov, former chess world champion. He is involved in Russian politics. He has been arrested several times lately. Putinmania I would call the political order in Russian
right now. I do hope things will be ok internationally, internally and especially in my relationship to Mary.

Just today we were talking with Mary about our possible wedding. A modest wedding we both would hope. Her 40th birthday will be next year. Maybe that will be the time to do something about it, who knows? We both want to have some children some time, but one could be adopted as well. In God we trust. Sounds funny, because of the US politics. In money they seem to trust.

I think I could be happy with her anywhere in Europe. This year will be time in Helsinki. Next year, we shall see about it... We both have been moving quite many times in our lives, but I think we both feel like Helsinki is our hometown right now. Although we have some foreign styles, we definitely are Finnish.

Maybe I write this in English to get some distance to things which are so intimate. It would be more difficult to write in my own language.

Mary and me, Part 8

No place like home

Went to get some more cigarettes. I am at her place. She is asleep. We have been together seven days now.

It is ten thirty pm. I am drinking coffee and listening to music. And writing.

It is raining out there. Today while she was watching TV I went for a walk. Nice shops, where she lives. I do not know if I was window shopping or not. Maybe not. Did not buy any kind of a window.

Commercials. Stupid commercials. Luckily it was a short break. Roy Orbison is not singing for the lonely. Some lousy boy band is singing about love. A better one now: 'Penny on a track.' But not good enough. I put some classical on. Now it is better music.

Looking at a photo, which was taken on my birthday. Mary and me. Both smiling at my place. I do not feel any place is my home right now. Maybe in the future Mary and I will have a home together. That will take some time.

The other day she said she wants to become a mother. Her goddaughter, Anna, is in 9th grade. My godson is 14 years of age. Maybe they would make a good couple too. Just a thought. Eleven-o-seven.

Mary and me, Part 7

Independence

It was independence day yesterday. My independence is gone. I'm in love. I want to be by her side.

Yesterday Finland celebrated her 90th independence day. Some say Finland's independence is gone too. When there was a historical election for joining the European Union, I was working abroad. Sometimes it is better to give something to achieve more.

It is almost Christmas time. I am Mary's present and she is mine. I think we both want to give to each other to achieve more. I don't know about her independence, but I gave some of mine away when we became a couple. And I am happy for it.

I´ve made my choice and I feel good about it. A lot needs to be done in this relationship to make it last, but that's the way it is. Some things also need not to be done. I think I´m better in not doing rather than in doing.

Sometimes when you do, it's too much. Other times when you do less, it's not enough. I hope this relationship is a way to do things right. Neither too much, nor too little, but enough. I might be better in giving rather than in taking. I hope that is the way I am. Mary might have another point of view.

Mary and me, Part 6

Birthday

Now I am ready to tell you about my 36th birthday. At Windows Live Space I had a virtual birthday for some of my closest. My godson Walter and my best friend Aura were invited.

Half a year earlier I had made a plan that before the end of the year I would have a good relationship. In summer I had met Mary, but I wasn´t sure if she would take me.

By the end of November I had been in touch with her so much that I could invite her as the only guest at my place on my birthday. Earlier I had bought some roses. First yellow one, then white and finally a red one.

We were good friends, but we didn't know if it would be something more. On my birthday I prepared a meal for Mary. We had some spaghetti with creamy sauce of chicken. For dessert I baked lots of peach-vanilla-pastries, which were served with coffee.

While we were standing in my living room after the dessert, she said: 'I need some tenderness.' I asked if she would come to my sofa to sit with me. There we were sitting and holding each other´s hands, when I asked if she will be my partner. She said yes and made me the happiest man in the world.

And then we kissed...

With love,

Jim

Mary and me, Part 5

Sleepless in Helsinki

Walked some snowy streets of Helsinki at night when I couldn't get to sleep. I'll feel tired tomorrow. I hope my rhythm ain't gone too badly.

Radio gives me good company. Coffee and cigarettes satisfaction. I'm missing her. It is now twenty to five in the morning and it was yesterday about seven pm when I last saw her. That makes less than ten hours and I miss her so. I hope she is sleeping well. Nice dreams, my darling! And good morning whenever you wake up.

Checked my calendar, it was the 24th of October, when I got her phone number and she got mine.

Start to feel now so exhausted and shaky, I can't even write too well any more. Classy text this must be. Gonna make some more coffee. Out of sugar, but luckily some milk left.

Great music now: Led Zeppelin, the Mothership is here. Just a minute ago a cover of Jimi Hendrix's 'And the wind cries Mary'. Could not get any better. The music, I mean, not me, definitely not me.

Five o'clock. Put some classical music on and the coffee machine is talking on the background. 3 more hours and day will start. Hope I can make it a whole Thursday without sleep. On Friday I will sleep. And Saturday it´s party time. Without alcohol of course.

Mary and me, Part 4

Sleepy me

Have not told you yet about my 36th birthday, where she, Mary, was the only guest. The guest of honour so to speak. Well, it might be too intimate to tell. So you´ll have to wait. I´ll ask Mary first.

I hope I ain´t gonna hurt Mary in any way. Once, when we were supposed to go to Uspenski Cathedral, I didn´t go, nor did I answer her calls. She left some messages in my answering machine. I got back to her the next day. I was so ashamed.

I had been sleeping whole Saturday. My rhythm was gone for five days or more. She took my apology more than well. But still I think she was at least a bit hurt.

Sometimes my rhythm comes and goes. But I don´t mean to hurt anybody. Still I´ve done it several times in the past. When I was studying, when I was working. I think it is the way I am, sometimes.

I just counted the pages of my miniature silver-colored note book. 41 pages. Let´s see, that´ll make four stories for my blog. It has been good company for me on lots of lonely nights and days.

Lots of coffee drunk, some cigarettes smoked. I hope some of you, my readers, haven´t felt too bad about these stories. But still that´s just the way I am. Luckily it is a free blog. So there will be no refund.

Mary and me, Part 3

Winter time

It is winter, about two three degrees minus. Some snow on the ground. Drinking coffee at night and writing to you. Won´t tell about the birthday yet.

Thinking of you, Mary. I am sure you play the flute well. I think I would be fascinated by your play. You said you like Bach.

Haven't heard a note yet, although we've known each other for some time now. No hurry, no worry. I'm willing to wait ´till you are ready for it. Sometimes it is better to wait a while before the good will come. I´m sure it´ll be great.

About some music: I've been listening to Classic FM and Radio Helsinki about fifty-fifty lately. Now it is Helsinki time. They are playing fifties-sixties rock´n´roll. This song is played by Fatman Robinson Quintet: 'If you take my advice, don't drink. Don't drink.'

I've been without alcohol for about two years now. My engine is run by coffee. I think we could quit smoking together, if she agrees. But coffee, well, that's another story.

Mary and me, Part 2

2 pm

I am listening to Radio Helsinki. A man is singing: 'Don't walk away in silence.' She will be here at my place in about two hours, I hope. We´ve been seeing each other almost every day for some time now.

I've met her mother and she's met my father. Still I don't think we exactly know where we are going right now. Anyway I am more than happy that I have a good friend now. Who knows what the future will be like?

2 am

Nice day, yesterday. We watched a movie called Lost In Translation. Had some pastries with lots of coffee.

While lying on the bed, I wanted to hold her hand, hug her real tight and kiss her. But I didn´t make a pass yet.

Well next Saturday will be my 36th birthday and she will be the only guest. Who knows what will happen?

Yesterday I asked her permission to use these texts for my blog. I don't have an idea how readers will feel about it. Thanks to her we might find it out.

I really do hope these short stories will never end...

It is 3 am and I would like to be in touch with her. Maybe I'll just make some coffee and stay up the rest of the night.

Tomorrow will be another Helsinki Café day for me. I think I'll take these texts with me. Let´s see what happens. Today, I mean.

Mary and me, Part 1

Rendez-vous

I hope this is a short story, which will never end. It was one Tuesday morning at Helsinki Café, when Jim felt something new. Sometimes it is better not to try to explain one´s feelings afterwards, but I hope this ain´t one of those times.

Well, back to the story. Jim did not know what it was; was it the warmth of the moment, a ray of a bright light of morning sunshine or just an illusion in his head. Six months ago it would have been an angel in paradise. 18 months ago just a devil in disguise.

All the same there she was, Mary, sitting in the same room with him. To tell you the truth Jim still at this very moment does not know what his feelings for her were. Maybe that could be called one in a billion chance moment. Sorry, I apologize, that would not do her justice. But I am trying to tell you, what truly happened.

It was one of those moments, when you are kind of afraid you will break the illusion, which will probably not come true anyway. Will illusions come true sometimes? Hopes do, don't they - sometimes. Hey, hey... but this is no illusion: there she was alright. This is what
I am trying to explain to myself. I mean he was. And still is. Jim, I mean...

Excuse me, I needed a cigarette break. Oh well, it is six am. Another cup of coffee. See you next time.

Tonight at ten past twelve I went to the balcony for a cigarette. Out there I heard a nightingale sing. Another answered. It was beautiful. And I thought of you. Now I am writing this with shaking hands...

My first "poems" in English and then the story goes back where it started from

I do repeat myself quite often. As some of you know I started this blog with a Mary and me story last Spring. Originally I wrote it in fifteen chapters about 12 months ago. When I wrote it I did not have any experience in writing in English.

As I now have studied some creative writing, I shall rewrite those original fifteen chapters here. This is not because there are some new readers but because there are no readers at all.

At my writing course I was forced to write a couple of haikus as well, my first "poems" in English. To give you some examples what a stinking writer I still am, here they are.


First a tradional one:


A bird is singing.

Squirrels are playing wildly.

A dark cloud gets nearer.



Then a modern one:


Nothing much to say.

Trying to write another.

Cannot do it right.



Right after this Mary and me stories go on again...

Tournament, Part 4

I've got some news. Did not make it to finals. Predrag and I have beaten Paul in our last games against him. So now Predrag is leading with two wins, I am second with one win and one loss and Paul is the last with one win and three losses.

I got still two games more to go against Predrag. Predrag just made a brilliant move with his black ones and I shall lose quality. So practically that is over for me now. He wins the section and gets through the finals.

I got one more surprise to show with my black ones. I sacrifised a pawn in a complex situation to get advantage. Meanwhile I´ve blocked all his officers. As far as I know I shall get an easy win from it.

All in all I am very happy with the result of the tournament. I am the fourth from 65 players and I made it to the third level, which is the highest. A tough job well done. Had lots of fun too.

The pearl of the Black Sea

Ave Maria, I could say. I spent last week with a guitar man on the coast of the Black Sea. We found a fine terrace bar with great personnel.

During daytime we spent some lazy days in sunshine listening waves of the Black Sea and smelling the salt of it. It differs a lot from the Baltic Sea.

I offered a drink to a young lady on our first day. Maria is her name. She is like an young Lady Venus. Chatting to her was like being in paradise or in heaven.

Now I've found the pearl of the Black Sea. Ave Maria.

Tournament, Part 3

I had lots of fun with a guitar man in Bulgaria last week. My third round in chess tournament got a little bit complicated. Serbian Predrag had beaten Irish Paul in one game. In my games against Paul I exceeded my time limit because my flight back was delayed 32,5 hours. We got onto local newspaper in Finland. Finally I got back to Helsinki yesterday midnight.

I sent a message to Paul asking him to restart one of my lost games. I felt it had been my mistake anyway and I would have been happy to continue just one of those. Irish are great, I tell you. Paul answered he knows how it is to have forfeited a game and told me I should have asked to continue both of the games. I was more than happy to get to continue one of those lost games. I told Paul I shall ask a million pound refund from airline for the other game. Service was not that good either.

So now Predrag is leading with one victory and has three more to go. Paul has got one loss and one win. I have one loss and three more to go. There is a lot to do in my recent games. Situations are even in every one of them. I do hope they will be interesting games in the future as well.

The best thing in it was that I had a nice chat with Paul about Irish pubs and Guinness. Some of the best things in the world, allthough I prefer Bulgarian women. I'll be getting back to you.

Tournament, Part 2

After two first rounds there was to be a break of a month for Charly and me until others had their moves made. For quite a while I thought the next round was to be the last for all of us. Instead there was to be the 3rd round in 2 sections with 6 players. I did not find it out until I studied some results of past tournaments, nor did I know, who would my next opponents be. I imagined the toughest one would probably be Predrag, who had no losses, no draws, just wins.

Yesterday, the 20th of August it started. The worst scenario happened. Predrag was in my section. The other one is Paul from Ireland. I assume there is not much of a chance against Predrag, but games against Paul I really look forward to.

With my white pieces I started both games with d4. Against Paul it was to be the Queen´s gambit and with black center counter defense also known as Scandinavian opening. Against Predrag I do not even recognize the openings. They must be unorthodox.

With his white pieces Predrag seemed to have his knights and bishops in position in no time while I was almost in starting position. Mine was a bit like the King's Indian defense, but Predrag's was far more dangerous. We played several, five to six that is, moves online in couple of hours, although the need is one move in 48 hours. I guess, we both were trying to find each others' possible opening weaknesses in "fast" game.

Tournament, Part 1

I have been doing some sports lately. For the last six months I've been in a tournament. It started in early February and now in late August there is the 3rd round going on. This is the last round before the finals.

In the beginning there were 65 of us in 17 sections. My first round was against Julieann, Ivica and Encho. Julieann did not make a move and was dropped immediately. Against Ivica from Belgrade I had an aggressive opening and won the first in 24 moves and the second in 31 moves. Ivica won Encho in both games. I lost my first game against Bulgarian Encho, but the second one was to be an easy win. After 41 moves I stopped playing and so all three of us got to the 2nd round.

My father, so called coach of mine, was a bit angry at me letting the others continue as well. I was very pleased and thought, that my first round could not have ended in a better way.

The 2nd round was in 5 sections with 21 players. In my section the others were: Ed from Singapore, Eric from Malaysia and Charly from Argentina. Ed came late complaining he had been overseas. Charly and I did not find the excuse good enough and so Ed lost 4 games ´cause he did not do his first moves in time. Malaysian Eric was to be an easy one for Charly and me. Instead between Argentina and Finland we were to have two tough games.

With my black pieces I missed Charly's mistake at the 9th move. I could have won a pawn. At the time I was spending my Summer holidays in eastern Finland. At the next move I tried to sacrifice my bishop but Charly did not take it. After eight moves I offered a knight to get an attack towards his king. He again did not take it instead he took a pawn allowing me not to attack that dangerously.

After fifteen moves more and several combinations I had to change my rock with his bishop. There was another surprise to come. I sacrificed the other rock to get a draw as an immediate result.

The other game with Charly was to be very interesting as well. After 44 moves I was desperate in a complex situation. There was only one winning move for Charly to do and after that I would have surrendered. The material was even and it was not easy to find the right move.

My brother was visiting me at the time and we talked about chess. He told me in a desperate situation there is one more thing to do. That is a draw offer. I thought the opponent might be offended by such an insult if he had already found the winning move. After one day of consideration Charly accepted my draw offer and both of us got to the next round.

What a tournament so far! I wonder, if letting others go through in the previous round had something to do with this?

Writers' Group at HS blogs

Some time ago I told you about Writers' Group at HS blogs. There came a piece of text from me too.

For those who are interested in Finnish texts, there is a link to it by clicking the headline above.

You can see I've got some critics as well. If you want to make a note there, be my guests!

Wish you all a nice weekend!

Monday

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Heinäkuun kuudes

It is the 130th birthday of a Finnish poet Eino Leino. So next comes in Finnish.

Isälle

Tapailen tekstiä 

sanojen suossa

En osaa

Olen pieni ihminen

vajaa

Mutta en ole yksin

Runon ja suven päivänä

4th of July

Have a great 4th of July 2008!

Jim's diary, Part 8

Small one

I just found something beautiful. A short story called "Small one". Wanted to express my gratitude for its writer. I do not know if I succeeded.

The story made my day. I had been having some difficulties with myself, but that one piece of text made it better. The story itself was about life and it had a real ending. Made me feel better. There is still something good going on.

At HS blogs there is a small happening for writers, where they can comment each others texts and a real author gives her feedback for some. It's in Finnish language. I have sent a piece of text there too. Maybe later I will put a link for it here as well. We shall see. I seem to do less things than one can imagine.

Jim's diary, Part 7

Uncle's bay

It is called Uncle's bay. The place where I've been on summer holiday for a week now. Our summer cottage is located in a small village in eastern Finland.

I've been spending lazy eight days with my parents. They are living in a bigger house, main building, by the lake. I am in a small cottage right beside the main building also with a lake view.

My brother's family will be here tomorrow. On Saturday we will have my godmother's 50th birthday in a town nearby. The last night before heading back to the Apple tree alley we will be staying in a hotel.

Have a great summer, all of you!

Jim's diary, Part 6

Helsinki Day

Drinking coffee at the blue villa's terrace. Töölö bay is at its best with sunny and windy weather. It is Helsinki Day today.

I think it was a Helsinki Day quite a while ago when my godson was about 5 and he pulled my arm and said: "Daddy, daddy." Just about the best feeling I've ever had. Although he was just kidding. I told him I would be the happiest man if I had a son like him. Maybe he wasn't feeling too bad either.

Such things happen on Helsinki Day, too.

Jim's diary, Part 5

Good Monday morning.

Sometimes people are allowed to do some crazy stuff at nights. It is now actually Sunday night half past two. So I am using that as an excuse for publishing "Some Notes" after all. Instead of putting it here, it is now as a Google document available behind the link below:

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhmrmvrq_15cghbhwfm

It has an original true ending for "Mary and me". On this blog will later continue an imaginative "Apple tree alley". As I did not follow good writers´ advice to stop writing while the going is good, I find myself now with a piece of a blank paper. What goes around, comes around...

Have a nice week - u 2!

Jim's diary, Part 4

Deception

I am not sure if this is a deception of some kind.

A short story, which I might send to Hay on Wye Short Story Contest, is called "Some Notes". Yesterday I thought now I am going to put "Some Notes" here on my blog as well. I copied the last version of it from another file and pasted it on my blog. Just the headline came out. A very short story indeed.

I had an idea, that maybe it was not supposed to come out yet. This morning I lost also the headline. A very short story gets shorter and finally disappears. Well, no deception about it.

But maybe trying to put "Some Notes" on this blog of mine was some kind of a deception at the first place. Who knows?

Jim's diary, Part 3

Question

I beg your pardon, my laptop. I am cheating you. This is coming from Anna's computer.

I do not do many good things in my life. I quess, I am quite a cynical person. This time I am trying to make an exception - and tell you about it.

The question I was supposed to ask from a professor would have been about a writing contest. I had a small piece of text, which was in my consideration to be sent for a short story competition. The thought of participating in something with such good means fascinated me for a change.

There is a small charming town Hay-on-Wye in Wales with many good quality second hand book stores, which has this Hay Short Story Contest, I am telling about.

If interested please check the link below:

http://www.hayshortstory.com/

Maybe in the near future I am emboldened enough to publish the short story here as well. I am not that sure if my intentions towards this are all good. Actually I do not have an idea, how they would feel about this.

This was the question, which I was supposed to ask from the professor: Could you check this text of five pages and tell me your opinion, if I am doing something crazy?

Never asked it.

Jim's diary, Part 2

Lazy crazy bastard

Half past three Monday morning. One lazy bastard I am. I don't know, if I can make it ´till the evening, when there would be a course about history of Finland at the Helsinki University. So stupid I am, to write about this. It would be a course for 8 days and an essay to do.

Just about the only reason, why I should attend the course is, that I have a question to ask, which has nothing to do with history of Finland. Probably, if I manage to get the course done, which shall not happen, I cannot ask the question. One lazy crazy bastard I am. We shall see - starts to be a motto of some kind.

See you, my laptop, later today.

Jim's diary, Part 1

The night between the 1st and the 2nd of June

It is now 02.10. The time, not the day - thank God. If it were the 2nd of October every one in this country would be :-(. Now it is the night between the 1st and the 2nd of June and just about everybody is :-). Especially the ones, who are asleep or drunk.

I think in Finland all people have a license to be sad, but in Summer Mr. Melancholy is just around the corner. I don't know, but I could bet my last cents, that the most suicides happen in Finland around October. I really do not know, never tried one. Well, the most deathly accidents occur definitely during Midsummer festival, but that's another "happy" story.

Maybe such a happy subject came to my mind, because I heard good news from a friend on Internet. The guy is writing his second book, although the first will not be published until next year, and has written 71 pages in 3 months. I was on Internet at night when he kicked out the first three parts. I hurried to comment those and soon we had another crazy discussion in non-or-some-dialect Finnish language of ours. For the first time we introduced ourselves by real names and changed email addresses. So Elias, if you read this, it´s for you - and for literature and art.

The three of us

We had been a couple from the first of December 2007 and it was early Summer 2008 when we got the news. Mary was pregnant. Yaba-daba-doo! We will have a baby, if everything goes well. I could not believe it. I was so happy. For a long time Mary had wished for it.

We started long conversations about possible names. Mary gave me her permission to publish the possible names on my blog as well. I think if it is a girl, one of the names could be Julia and if it is a boy, maybe Marcus. But I may change my mind and Mary may have the final word. Elias is another name I like. We shall see. Nothing I hope more than it will all go well.

We went for a cup of coffee the other day. I suggested an old fashioned café near Apple tree alley. Mary decided a modern WTC café in the city centre. I had nothing against it so that was the place to be.

There we were sitting and chatting quietly like holding a special secret. As a matter of fact there was the biggest secret of life in Mary´s stomach. An unborn baby. I wonder if the baby was listening to our chat.

Every once in a while we had a glimpse in our eyes like we were the only ones who knew about the baby. In those short moments I felt it for the first time. We were a family. One of the best feelings I've got.

After coffee Mary asked me to walk with her to the sea shore. On the way there were some nice parks where we stopped for another talk.

As we reached the sea shore we sat on a bench beside floating sailing boats. Then suddenly a sea gull threw its mark on my trousers. "I am hit", I remarked calmly. Mary found it funny and did not try to keep straight face at all.

Nearby there was a restaurant called Carusel and there my trousers could have a drop of a drink too. Then we headed slowly back home.

That cup of a coffee the other day took 3 and a quarter of an hour. That well we enjoyed each other´s company. The three of us.

Apple tree alley, Part 2

Move in

It was white all over. The whole apartment - painter's white. We wanted it to be full of life. We painted the tiny kitchen red with beech cupboards. The living room we made yellow. The corridor amber with a beech closet and the bedroom light blue with a beech wardrobe. All that made it so lively. The bathroom we left as it was: white and light blue ceramic tiles with a birch wooden roof.

Mary's double bed was brought into the bedroom. Our bedroom was so big, that there was enough space for my cherry tree desk beside a window with a view to a office building.

My mahogany bookshelves were carried into the living room. The dinner table was put on the best spot in front of the living room window with a view to the sea and the very same sofa, where we became a couple, was at the end of the living room also with a sea view.

Mary's laptop was to be in the bedroom and mine in the living room. That was everything we at first had.

Apple tree alley, Part 1

Our first home

It was maybe the year 1999 or 2000. No, now I remember, it must have been the year 2001. The winter when there was a doping scandal - approximately at that time I visited the place for the first time. There was a funny friend of mine living there, who put his pants on his head, when we went to the balcony for a cigarette, because it was so cold. I told him to put dirty pants, that way it might be even warmer. He did not, maybe he was not as crazy as I am.

Have not heard about him afterwards. Do not remember his real name either. But he had an eye, which made a peculiar noise. I mean, when he pushed his eye gently with his hand, there was a clear sound. An extraordinary fellow. Anyway, that was when I visited the place for the first time. Apple tree alley 22. Already at that time I sensed something special about the place.

Everybody seemed to know each other. On the ground floor there was an artistic couple with a pretty teenage daughter. And an elderly man, whose wife had died couple of years earlier. The man was quite lonely and liked to invite others for a drink. On the second floor there was this funny friend of mine. And a bitter old Bulgarian witch, who was terrorizing the whole neighborhood. Always angry like she would kill someone. Who lived on the third and on the fourth floor, I can not recall. I do not even know, if I ever saw them.

Everyone had to move away sometime between 2003 and 2005. The house was totally renovated. Apartments were made smaller, so that there are now three apartments and a laundry room and a sauna on the ground floor. On the other floors there are five apartments on each.

My good friend Aura lives on the second floor. She told me there is now an apartment available on the top floor. Mary and I have been looking for a flat for some time. Aura asked us to come to see the apartment on the top floor of her house.

When we went to see the place, it was a sunny day. About eleven o´clock on Wednesday the 7th of May. Birds were singing beautifully as we walked along the Apple tree alley. Cool wind from the sea made the day not too hot, but there was a clear feeling of coming summer.

Almost something magical about the atmosphere. I don't know if it has something to do with the nearby cemetery, but the feeling you get, when you arrive to the Apple tree alley, is so peaceful. There is a gentle balance between man and nature there. Squirrels and wild bunnies playing right in front of the house.

The house, Appletree alley 22, is a yellow-white-coloured Art Nouveau style building and the apartment on the top floor has a small kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom and a living room with a view to the sea. About fifteen minutes walk from the city centre and ten minutes walk from where I got a new job. Mary works in a neighboring city. There are really good connections by subway and by bus.

It is a perfect place for a couple like us. Mary loves the place too. Apple trees on both sides of the street and a large garden on the backyard. A peaceful area almost in the heart of the city centre. Quite expensive but worth every penny. Even a pool table in the cellar.

There was no need for many questions. We took the apartment immediately. Our first home.

Mary and me

Rendez-vous

I hope this is a short story which will never end. It was one Tuesday morning at Helsinki Café, when Jim felt something new. Sometimes it is better not to try to explain one's feelings afterwards, but I hope this is not one of those times.

Well, back to the story. Jim did not know what it was; was it the warmth of the moment, a ray of bright light of morning sunshine or just an illusion in his head. Half a year ago it would have been an angel in paradise. One and a half years ago just a devil in disguise.

All the same there she was, Mary, sitting in the same room with him. To tell you the truth Jim still, at this very moment, does not know what his feelings for her were. Maybe that could be called one in a billion chance moment. Sorry, I apologize, that would not make her justice. But I am trying to tell you, what truly happened.

Anyway it was just one of those moments, when you are kind of afraid you will break the illusion, which will probably not come true anyway. Will illusions come true sometimes? Hopes do, don´t they - sometimes. Hey, hey... but this is no illusion: there she was alright. This is what I am trying to explain myself. I mean he was. And still is. Jim, I mean...

Excuse me, I needed a cigarette break. Oh well, it is six am. Another cup of coffee. See you next time.

Tonight at ten past twelve I went to the balcony for a cigarette. Out there I heard a nightingale sing. Another answered. It was beautiful. And I thought of you. Now I am writing this with shaking hands... 

2 pm

I am listening to Radio Helsinki. A man is singing: "Don't walk away in silence." She will be here, at my place in about two hours, I hope. We've been seeing each other almost every day for some time now.

I've met her mother and she's met my father. Still I don't think we exactly know where we are going right now. Anyway I am more than happy, that I have a good friend now. Who knows what the future will be like?

2 am

Nice day, yesterday. We watched a movie called "Lost in translation". Had some pastries with lots of coffee.

While lying on the bed, I wanted to hold her hand, hug her real tight and kiss her. But I didn´t make a pass yet.

Well, next Saturday will be my 36th birthday and she will be the only guest. Who knows what will happen?

Yesterday I asked her permission to use these texts for my blog. I don't have any idea, how readers would feel about it. Thanks to her we might find it out.

I really do hope these stories will never end...

It is 3 am and I would like to be in touch with her. Maybe I'll just make some coffee and stay up the rest of the night.

Tomorrow will be another Helsinki Café day for me. I think I'll take these texts with me. Let's see what happens. Today, I mean. 

Birthday

Now I am ready to tell you about my 36th birthday. At Windows Live Space I had a virtual birthday for some of my closest. My godson Walter and my best friend Aura were invited.

Half a year earlier I had made a plan that before the end of the year I want to have a good relationship. In summer I had met Mary, but I wasn't sure if she would take me.

By the end of November I had been in touch with her that much that I could invite her as the only guest at my place on my birthday. Earlier I had bought some roses. First yellow one, the white and finally a red one.

We were good friends, but we didn't know if it would be something more. On my birthday I prepared a meal for Mary. We had some spaghetti with creamy sauce of chicken. For dessert I baked lots of peach-vanilla-pastries, which were served with coffee.

While we were standing in my living room after the dessert, she said: "I need some tenderness." I asked if she would come to my sofa to sit with me. There we were sitting and holding each other's hands, when I asked if she will be my partner. She said yes and made me the happiest man of the world.

And then we kissed...

With love,

Jim